Kuty Shalev


Good News! It's all your fault

Week 1: Stand

Welcome everyone! I am honored to have you on this call. There are so many ways that you could be spending your time right now, and you chose to be part of this group. I promise that I'm going to do my very best to make this worth your while!

First of all, I want to say that just showing up today is powerful. By being on this call, or taking this course later, you are acknowledging that you want to improve your life -- that there is a gap between where you are right now, and where you really want to be.

And just knowing that is perfect!

Good News! It's all your fault

This course is a journey into self-discovery, framed by my own transformative experiences and the wisdom of mentors who've profoundly impacted my life. Through their teaching, I learned that we often deceive ourselves. Even worse, we can be unwilling to confront the truth about our actions and their consequences.

This is a space to challenge ourselves to adopt an honest perspective and recognize areas where change is not just necessary, but critical for a more productive life. And I'll be upfront- part of my intention is to make you a little uncomfortable. I think that discomfort is great for shaking things up, and helping you see your life in a different way, so that you can take action.

At the same time, we'll make sure to be kind to ourselves. We never make a straight line to our goal. It meanders, and we need to forgive ourselves for expecting it to be straight.

Learning How To Change

My "aha" moment came during an intensive seminar with Toby Hecht and the AJI Network, a community that helps you learn how to save enough for your own retirement, and for future generations of your family. I had flown away from home, ready to bunker down in a conference room with dozens of people who were ready to dive into the depths of identity change. We were away from the familiar, in an environment designed to dismantle our daily facades.

While this might be a surprise to hear, I hated the experience. Hecht's methods were harsh in a way that I found controlling. His goal was to terrify us into realizing that, if we kept living the way that we were, our financial future was doomed.

This hard-hearted man would literally have us go to a run-down part of town, drive around, and imagine how that would be our lives if we didn't change anything. Needless to say, I did not recommend the course to my friends.

However, even though it was jarring, the course was also effective. The realization that I mined from the experience was: You are the person who brought you to this point in your life, and if you're not happy, you have the power to change it.

You hold the reins to your future, and every decision shapes the path ahead.

Afterwards, a lot of people became very serious about making more money and taking care of their future. I was one of them. That decision changed my life, and led me to grow from 0 to a 600-person, profitable global consultancy and be financially set for life.

Being In Relationships

On top of that, I learned to take the same concern about the future in other domains. I take care of my body. Not because I'm vain, but because I want to be able to pick up my grandchildren and go on a walk with them. I want to be able to get in and out of a car without help. These seem obvious when you are young, but they are not if you don't take care. So when I should be going to a doctor's appointment, I don't avoid it. And I lift heavy weights, six days of the week and I tend not to miss.I take care of my sleep, of eating healthy, and moving in nature as those are other fundamental practices I have. And it all stems from taking care of my future self.

And relationships with the significant people in my life plays an important role in my future. And to have relationships in the future I must invest in them in the present. So I play board games with my kids, nephews and nieces. ,I have date nights with my wife, and intentionally have dinner with my siblings regularly. That's how I show that I care.

Your day-to-day actions help you build the future that you want. And this course is built on that principle of personal agency. It's an invitation to embrace full responsibility for your life's direction, even when it's easier to place the blame somewhere else. We'll start by identifying what you truly stand for.

As we embark together, remember that our time together is just the beginning. Transformation requires a long-term commitment. For example, the first Aji Network course that I participated in lasted for two-years. That led to meeting Fernando Flores, who I then studied with for more than 5 years.

I say this to emphasize that you don't chase success, and then find it immediately. Instead, you need to become the type of person who would have that success. Once you do that, it comes to you. Creating that type of shift is not about willpower or hard work. It's also about being in the right spaces to cultivate the type of growth that you want.

The Power Of Journaling

To get started, we'll begin with a simple but powerful task -- one that we'll return to for multiple purposes: journaling.

Throughout the duration of our program, I'm inviting you to journal every day for at least ten minutes. Using a timer will be helpful.

This allows you to not only get clear on what you want to accomplish that day, but also get rid of any distractions that are keeping you unfocused.

To get things out of your head, you need to put them on the page– or on your phone. The important thing is to not stop, and to not think about your thinking. Instead of analyzing your thoughts, just get them on the page.

Outside of paper journals, I recommend a tool called Amplenote. This iPhone app is a combination of notes and to-dos. It's a bi-directional linking system, which we'll talk about more next time.

Here's your prompt

What are you willing to take a stand for? If you had to define your core standards for who you are, what would you say?

To start, make a distinction with two columns - one for creative expression, and the other for relationships.

Some examples of creativity include: performing at work, writing code that solves big problems, or painting. Any time where you are using your creativity to put a dent in the world and show that you were there.

Some examples of relationships are how you show up, spend time with, and take care of your spouse, kids, or parents. But they could also be with your coworkers, your church, or with nature.

"Good News, It's All Your Fault" is not just a course; it's a mindset, a way of life. It's about owning up to your choices and, in doing so, unlocking the potential for profound transformation. Let's begin.

Basic Materials

00:00 Stop Caring About Other People’s Opinions

08:00 How To Have Difficult Conversations

15:28 The Heavy Burden of Unmade Decisions

24:46 Overcoming the Fear of What Other People Think

33:00 In Life You Must Choose Your Regrets

42:18 Work as Hard as You Can at One Thing & See What Happens

54:09 Become a Hero By Using Your Pain

58:42 Success is the Only Revenge

1:11:02 You’ve Already Achieved Goals You Said Would Make You Happy

1:24:13 Nobody Will Hate on You for Doing Worse Than Them

1:36:22 Hold Yourself to a Higher Standard Than Anyone Else Does

1:48:56 How to Remember Everything You Learn

1:59:07 You Don’t Have to Feel Good About it, Just Keep Going

2:05:23 Judge Yourself By Your Actions Not Your Thoughts

2:18:59 Success Comes From Doing The Things Others Won’t Do

2:25:09 The Ultimate Productivity System

2:35:07 A Hack For Knowing Who You Should Take Advice From

2:43:55 Why Cynicism Is A Loser’s Strategy

2:49:10 Learning Isn’t a Spectator Sport

2:51:28 Where to Find Alex


Advanced Materials
If you have been journaling for a while and have gotten stuck, Byron Katie has a beautifully simple system that challenges you to look closer at what is real. Watch the video and try your own checklist to judge your neighbor or even yourself.